I really do enjoy going out, even if it means going out alone. If I have to take myself out on dates to the movies, restaurants or any other place that offers exciting live entertainment, I’d go. But here’s the problem, I struggle in finding things that flatter or accentuate my apple body type.
And if you’re like me, that midsection is where it all just goes down hill. In my mind, when I’m lying on the bed, trying to decide what to wear, I paint the perfect picture. Tonight, I’m going to wear my distressed boyfriend jeans, crisp white button down shirt and some nude heels. Then, I put it on…. and total flop! I just don’t like what I have on, I add a scarf or jacket and still nothing.
And back on the couch I go, remote in one hand as I flip through the same boring channels and sip on a glass of my favorite drink – Bailey’s Irish Cream – in the other hand.
A-line dresses and tailored jackets are a great fit just for my body type. Want to know more on how to dress for your body type – including shoes, see what brightside.me has to say for you. You might even find some simple tricks with things that are already in your closet. Learn more here!
“When you LOOK good, you FEEL good and when you feel good you DO GOOD!” – author unknown
Today, I wasn’t feeling it. My hair isn’t done up to my regular standards; it’s just not up to par. I didn’t get any of my laundry done over the weekend because I was super busy, so I have NOTHING to wear to work this week. I’m low on cash and forgot to bring my lunch to work today, so I’m starving. On top of that, I haven’t been eating right lately so my body feels TOTALLY OFF and my stank attitude is showing through because I just don’t do well when I’m sleepy OR hungry. I’m off balance.
Luckily, I’ve figured out a few things that work for me when I’m having these “off days”. My day started off a bit rocky, by the middle of the day, I have acquired a genuine smile on my face. Thanks to a few intentional acts on my part, and kind words of affirmation from a few of my co-workers, I can say I’ve truly been able to elevate my day. It may not solve all of my problems, but these 5 Tips to Look AMAZING saved me.
Tip #1: Put On A Dress
This may sound simple or ridiculous, but the only CLEAN thing I found in my closet to wear was a short zebra print/flower dress that fell just above my knees. It’s an old thing. I’ve had it for the last four years but what I’ve always loved about it is how it accentuated my curves and how the shortness of the dress brought attention to my nice legs and toned calves. I’m also forced to wear high heels anytime I wear this dress because sandals or tennis shoes just throw it off, but this is a plus as the shortness of the dress only brings attention to my otherwise unnoticeable legs and toned calves. It helps me embrace my femininity. This is a win for me.
Tip #2: A Pump or Two of Perfume
Co-worker 1: “Ohhh, You smell so good! Delicious.”
I LOVE when someone compliments me on my scent. I’ve paid special attention to this small detail, ever since that one time I interviewed singer John Legend and he said, “A man doesn’t want a woman to smell bland…” But beyond it being appealing to men, putting on your favorite perfume can subliminally help you. When a sweet or pleasant scent permeates the atmosphere around you, it helps your mood. If nothing else, it may attract a compliment from someone you pass in the hallway at work. And a compliment on your scent can never hurt!
Tip #3: Wear A Smile
Co-worker 2: “Look at you , you look like sunshine.”
I ALWAYS get the best response from people when I enter an atmosphere, wearing a smile. Even if I’m truly sulking on the inside, I try not to show it on the outside or to those who I come in contact in my day. Just smile. Think of something that makes you happy or something that you are thankful for, or looking forward to. Let the good thoughts take over your day and soon, the fake smile will have become real to you. Try and smile.
Tip #4: Walk High / Strut with Confidence
Co-worker 1: “What’s up boss lady.”
“They can tell by the way I walk, I aint from ‘round here.”
I loved this quote from Martin Lawrence in the movie Life. No matter how you feel on a particular day, let your body language and even your walk, tell a different story. When you walk confidently to and from, you can send a signal that you are a.) lost, confused, beaten down by whatever is happening in your day OR you can affirm and declare with your walk that b.) I am more than a conqueror and I will not be stopped! Whether I’m walking from my office to a meeting or from the break room to the bathroom, I STRUT like I’m the queen of Zemunda! BOLDY and CONFIDENTLY! I walk like I have places to go and people to see and in doing so, others respond to me passing in the hallway accordingly. “What’s up boss lady.”
Tip #5: Put on Your ‘Face’
Co-worker 5: “You looking all fresh, I see you!”
I can’t tell you how many times I felt like s*&#! Heading in to work on a Monday morning. It takes a lot of energy to get up at6am to get my FOUR year old ready for school, after being out late on a Sunday night. On a bad day, he can be whiny, uncooperative and downright defiant, which always has me spending more time getting him ready (persuading him to “work with Mommy”) and in the end, I have less time to get myself ready. He’s drained me and putting on makeup is the last thing I feel like doing. But taking a few minutes to at least put on foundation, powder and a bold lipstick seems to do the trick for me! When I’m feeling like I can’t do the full face thing, even just a touch of blush on my cheeks, with a nice lipstick or lip gloss and making sure my eyebrows are touched up proves to do justice for me. This was evidenced when I heard a co-worker say, “You looking all fresh!” (Boy, my co-workers just don’t know how much their comments, observations and compliments mean to a girl when I think I’m having the WORST day ever!)
Check out this quick way to apply make up on the go!
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“Hey You…” As I began to type these two little starter words in a text message to my ex I paused, growing a conscious. These two little words “Hey you” seemed so innocent, but secretly I knew what they could do. I knew if I used them, it was sure to set off a back and forth firestorm. The text exchange would include plenty of innuendos and subtle advances that would grow from sweet and suggestive to blatant with teasing emojis (like eggplants and water splashes). I knew it would make him want me.
As I typed “Hey You…” I already knew what I was doing. My intent was to put ‘me’ on his mind. I would play and get exactly what I wanted and that’s exactly what made me stop. In that flirtatious and vulnerable moment, I realized that I no longer even cared to have my ex, I was just texting out of familiarity or convenience perhaps. I only wanted him, “when I wanted him” and that was only when I felt like I didn’t have him.
It reminded me of the song by Ginuwine, “Only When You’re Lonely”. I began deleting the instigating text. It was a sad but honest realization that I simply don’t want to be accountable to someone else’s feelings. Or spark up something with my kid’s father that would be fleeting.
I thought about what I missed about my ex- having him wash my car, pay for dinner and bills and being able to send an occasional ratchet text (without being judged). Then I reminded myself, that’s just isn’t fair. Being lonely is totally the wrong reason to interrupt someone else’s feelings. It made me think of folks who just can’t be alone or those who get into relationships for the wrong reasons. Not saying that you have to be single forever, but here are 5 reasons you should not date someone – consider being by yourself:
1. You only want them when you’re lonely (mentally, emotionally, and physically aroused). If this is you, save yourself the trouble.Read a book.
2. Because you are financially struggling or not satisfied with being check to check (and opt that two incomes has got to be better than one).
3. You really have nothing in common (but they are nice to you).
4. You only consider being with them because you have a child together – if there was not a child, they would not be a match for you (at this point in your life).
5. Because you don’t want to be alone.
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Today, is my son’s fathers birthday.
For the past week or so, I have been brainstorming over what I should get him as a present. I had already purchased two of the best “Happy Birthday Dad” Hallmark cards I could find; they would’ve been fancy, creative and custom made greeting cards had I not procrastinated and acted on my plan weeks in advance, as I had in the past. But since I hadn’t gotten ahead of it, two cards from Walmart, signed “from his son” would have to suffice.
That sounded good, but being the over the top aka “extra-mom” that I am, I couldn’t resist asking myself, “But what ELSE should I do?” I have to admit that in the last three years since we had my son, I always made it a point to send thoughtful sentiments to his Dad. Creative expressions to show him that we were on his team and thinking of him, even though we are miles and miles away. “You got your baby daddy WHAT?” I would hear my male friends who are also dads, say when I summoned their thoughts on my gifts. “My kids mom would NEVER do that for me!” They would say in surprised and borderline envious tones. “Wish you were MY baby mama.”
Previously, I had sent specially engraved silver pieces, wallets and money holders with his initials, printed out monies (homemade on my computer) adorned with his photo as if he were the King of Zemunda. Personalized “old man” socks and other thoughtful gifts, purchased or crafted by us. But this year, I was at a loss for ideas. Or perhaps, it’s that I’m at a loss for concern. You see, I believe what I noticed this year is the sincere and genuine energy that I have given over these past years, towards my child’s father. My efforts from the start had been intentional, with the purpose of bond-building; to show thoughtfulness and to encourage reciprocity. But on this 4th year of “intentional relationship building” towards my sons father, I have to admit that my mind is just flat out tired. Maybe this attrition and my lackluster birthday efforts can be attributed to my own personal life, transitioning as an entrepreneur or the recent loss of my grandmother. I am mentally and physically tired. And for the first time since I’ve been in this “co-parenting” situation, I allowed myself to be okay with not being so “giving”.
Today, I told myself, “Girl stop being so extra…it’s alright if the best damn gift he received this year, did not come from YOU.” It’s okay, even WITHOUT a monetary gift, he values your thoughtfulness, how cool you are and how easy you make the awkward reality of co-parenting from a distance. And it is OKAY, that you didn’t put his birthday cards in the mail until YESTERDAY and he probably won’t receive them until the end of the week. Hell, he probably won’t even check the darn mail until next week anyway! It’s okay. LIFE is Oh-kay!
You’re doing an awesome job as a friend, parent and mom. Carry on.
Love to all the moms, from Sky! Happy Cinco DE’MAMA!!
Follow Sky Houston @sky_houston